Head banging is gone... I was made to love you

It occurred to me recently that as we are working through our night time routine with Lauren - as she cuddles on my lap for a bit before going to her big girl bed --- that the head banging is basically GONE!  My heart just sat with this concept for a bit ..... praising God that she is bonding, attaching... and her stress in the transition is easing.... and her little heart is healing..... she's at home with her forever family. 

I can't help but think about the trauma we experience in life..... neglect, abuse, a loss, a tragic event (like these tornados and storms), car accidents, illness..... our losses go on and on.  But God created an amazing human spirit...... if you ever doubt that, look into the innocent eyes of a child, watch them cope with life's challenges with a smile and determination, watch how funny they can be....and how they laugh at the smallest things....watch how they love others unconditionally. My heart is full of joy at the person that Lauren is -- and another idea came to my mind.... I was made to love her!    

In the world of adoption, there are many times when things are challenging and even we as parents may want to head bang :) -- just to find some relief.  But I'm often reminded that this challenge will pass - and our Lord is the great comforter.....beyond all earthly things....and just what if all this was actually planned by the great designer of all??? 

We have a new favorite song - it's Toby Mack's - Made to Love You.  We love this song and she is so great... she loves the "la-la-la,la,la" chorus...and tries to sing the verses.... I know the song is about being made to love the Lord... I totally get that.  But don't you also think we can apply these types of song as parents to our children -- I mean, after all....we are children of the wonderful, amazing living God -- and so many analogies in the Bible refer to parent / child relationships.... shepherds and sheep.... etc.  So I'm taking the liberty of really settling in on the idea that I was made to love Lauren..... now I mean more than just a parent with the ability to love.... what I mean is much deeper than that.  My life experiences ....however dark, and broken, and painful....my losses and my hurts are JUST what I will use one day to explain God's great plan for her.... and how I will minister to her own broken heart.  Not to get too personal here -- but let's just say we all have brokenness beyond all human repair -- the kind of hurts and sadness in our life that ONLY the Lord and His amazing grace can heal. I'm learning each day through a variety of avenues that God LOVES ME! ..... as I am, yet wants me to be different than I am... because He loves me that much....and He wants me to experience a new kind of joy - and a new kind of relationship with him..... so as I embrace this very fact....and as I love myself more and more -- I will be fully equipped through the grace of God to better parent Lauren. My life.... was made to love my little miss.... all before we were ever born??  When I rest in this truth -- and I think also about Brad and how he is with Lauren and the relationship they have .... he too adds unique and very special life experiences to be able to parent Lauren in different ways (like his LOVE for the outdoors, hiking, etc.... Lauren LOVES being outside)... and we both also have things about us that specially gift us to parent Joshua. 

So I leave all you adoption families (some home....others still in the waiting).... with the idea that God LOVES YOU TOO! And..... he just very well may have made YOU to love that special someone you are waiting for (or that special child already home in your arms).  I encourage you to look at your own life experiences and sit in the joy that those life experiences may be the greatest thing to connect you to your child.  Isn't our Lord amazing??



Toby Mack's - Made to Love You   (just imagine Lauren singing..... the nah, nah, nah parts :) ...video to come in the future :)

The dream is fading, now I'm staring at the door
I know its over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain't feelin what I see
It's no mystery
Whatever happened to a passion I could live for
What became of the flame that made me feel more
And when did I forget that...

I was made to love you

I was made to find you

I was made just for you

Made to adore you

I was made to love

And be loved by you

You were here before me

You were waiting on me

And you said you'd keep me

Never would you leave me I was made to love

and be loved by you


The dream's alive with my eyes opened wide
Back in the ring you've got me swinging for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin vapors on my dreams
But I still believe
I'm reachin out, reachin up, reachin over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And daddy I'm on my way

Cause I was made to love...

I was made to love you

I was made to find you

I was made just for you

Made to adore you

I was made to love

And be loved by you

You were here before me

You were waiting on me

And you said you'd keep me



Never would you leave me I was made to love

and be loved by you


I was made to love you

I was made just for you

Made to adore you

I was made to love

And be loved by you

You were here before me

You were waiting on me

And you said you'd keep me

Never would you leave me I was made to love

and be loved by you



(nah, nah, nah, nah - nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)

(nah, nah, nah, nah - nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)



Anything I would give up for you (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)

Everything, I'd give it all away (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)



Anything I would give up for you (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)

Everything, I'd give it all away (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)



Anything I would give up for you (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)

Everything, I'd give it, I'd give it all away, Oh yeah



Cause I was made to love you (I was made to love you)

Yeah I was made to love you (I was made to find you)

Cause I was made to love you (I was made to adore you, made just for you) (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)

I was made to love you (I was made to adore you, made just for you)

Cause I was made to love you (I was made to adore you, made just for you) (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)

I was made to love you (I was made to adore you)



Yeah I'm loved by you

Yeah I'm loved by you (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)

Yeah I' m loved by you (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)

(nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)

(nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)