Friday, May 17, 2013

First leaving Lauren overnight

The trip was booked for a few weeks, the anxiety was growing... I had to leave to go across the country to San Juan Island, Washington for work.... and my family was staying home (my mom, Brad, Joshua AND Lauren)... all stayed at our house while I was gone.  The preparations were many.... I made lunches for Lauren and put them in her locker at school --- for all four days I planned to be gone.... I put 14 pair of new underwear in a baggie at school in her locker - because potty training just takes that many some weeks... along with a baggie of pants, socks, and shirts.... all set for the school accidents to come.  I washed Joshua's school uniform ready for the full week.... and I stocked up on groceries... I purchased small gifts for Joshua and Lauren -- labeled them for each day... and left them in the secret hiding place.  I talked to Lauren several nights in a row...."you know you are my forever daughter"...."u-huh"... "and I will come back for you after my work trip".... "I will be gone 4 days, ok"..... over and over again each night we went through this routine and she continued to say, "no" after each time I told her I'd be gone.... this wasn't going so well.  Until finally the night before I left we went through our routine and I said, "you know mommy's going away for four days.... let's count those on our fingers"...."and I will come back to you, right?".....and she finally said, "nefs"... which is her "yes"..... ahhhhh.... I think she really understands not to fear about mommy leaving.

While I was gone -- I talked on the phone when I could - but I got a whole new appreciation for the challenges of working with such a different time zone - and trying to call the eastern time zone area..... had a whole new appreciation for what our adoption agency rep goes through when calling families (since she's on the west coast)...... anyway... we talked maybe twice.... and I was amazed at how well she was doing.  My mom and Lauren bonded even deeper - and of course she and Joshua slept in our king bed each night.... what a great excuse to sleep in mommy's room.  I was so proud of how both kids handled my being gone.  (Joshua does have shorts on for bedtime below :))  daddy's wrapped like a burrito, Lauren is hot... Joshua snuggled in the middle of the king bed....ugh!

With each milestone... I feel Lauren is proclaiming this as her forever family -- with grace and confidence...and self-assured-ness :)  -- all by her actions.  She was great at school all week - didn't act out and continued to work on potty training.... Brad said she was also well-behaved at home.  That has continued since I got home last night.  She has a bit of a matured demeanor - if that makes any sense.  Who knows - maybe I'm imagining it -- but I do know that often the adoptions books (the ones that tell you don't leave your adopted child for at least a year after they are home).... don't get it right for all circumstances and families. 

I'm also reminded once again at how lucky I am to have Brad -- and my mom nearby.  Brad was great with the kids, playing, helping to fix lunches for Joshua, and even trimmed Lauren's bangs! My mom took the kids to school each day and picked them up --- and by Wednesday night (day 3)... when I called her she said, "Brad and I are exhausted"....LOL - that cracked me up - after three days of the kid routine I do each and every day after day..... they both were "exhausted" -- such a labor of love - God provides all the strength we need right?  Has to be something divine going on for those hard working mommas.

Anyway... we survived.... all of us.... and my little girl seemed to change overnight with confidence and greater assurance.  God is so very good.

p.s. - Trip was great other than some flight delays and challenges. 
Baby plane I had to take from Seattle to San Juan Island - talk about scary - but so thankful my flight was delayed and I took the early Tuesday am flight -- colleagues on flight the day before got sick on the plane it was soooo bumpy, gusty, and stormy.... I would have freaked out.... thankful I was spared that challenge.

Weather was great, shopping amazing (went shopping with a friend while other colleagues went on a whale watching boat ride), and work time very productive with exciting assignments and neat strategic plans for the future.  I'm excited about our company's year ahead --- and I'm blessed to have such a great place to work....and a husband that supports my career while also appreciates my desire to be mommy too.   

Whale watchers coming back from their adventure....

View out our hotel.....

So now having done it ..... I know I can do it again when the duty calls :) 


  1. What a relief! I know I breathed a huge sigh of relief the first time I had to go to a conference and Anya did just fine with Daddy and Grandmas. It does feel like a risk to the progress you've made -- but it really helps solidify the idea that we will come back, that we are forever.

    1. Totally... and she and my mom grew greater in their bond - which is wonderful.....and of course daddy is awesome in her eyes :) Glad I don't have to do this but maybe once a year or so.... happy to know it works out.