So no doubt about it - we've had our fair share of challenging moments during this transition bring Lauren Anjali into our family. At times Joshua has struggled, I've struggled, and I think even Brad has struggled.... we know our little one has also struggled. The hardest thing at times has been when anyone leaves the house she cries. But it seems like we might be making some good progress in this thing called SECURE attachment.
Today - a local church, where we are part of an adoption support group - held an orphan Sunday event - basically booths set up and interested families can come and ask any questions about adoption, foster care, orphan care. I volunteered to serve at the support group table. So right after church, we all came home, I grabbed a quick sandwich and made my way to this event.
Lauren Anjali fell asleep in the van on the way home from church. Brad carried her in and put her on the couch where she is used to napping. I took off for the adoption event. Brad would have the kids for at least three hours. When I got home, Brad, Joshua and Lauren were all at my mom's house. She has a dog - Papillion named Riley -- Lauren LOVES him. I worked on laundry until they came home.... he ended up having them for about 5 hours!
Joshua ran into the house and said, "we are home, guess what when she woke up from her nap she didn't cry!" I was like -- "that's great". Then Brad came in and Lauren came in too -- she ran to me gave me a quick hug and then tackled Joshua who was laying on the floor right in front of me in the family room. He laughed, she laughed ... it was all good. So I said to Joshua, "so, do you think you like your sister now? remember when she first came home - you weren't so sure about her when she bugged you, got into your stuff, etc."... his response made this mom - one happy mom!! He said, "when she first came home I liked her - then the jar went a little empty -- but now it's back full again".... that is his way of saying, "yep, I like her"... I love the heart of this little boy who has always been a bit quiet, sometimes hesitant to really share his feelings (we've worked hard on that one)... but now, as I see how happy he is when he's playing with her -- AKA rough housing, sword fights, even sometimes legos.... it makes me so very happy.
So today - I got THREE hours of adult time talking about adoption topics, which I love - with great Christian families - all in various stages of the process... or still considering it.... Brad had the kids played with them and then visited my mom for more fun times.... I got some laundry done in a quiet house for another 1 1/2 hours! ... and now Brad's off to his small group -- and all is well at home. When Brad left, Lauren gave him her typical goodbye, "bye ki-ee" -- have no idea what this means - at first I thought she believed everyone was named "Kelly" -- but it's her goodbye -- and tonight she said it to Brad with confidence, AND security that he would be back....and there were no tears. This little one is making it....and she has a brother that is continuing to love her more and more :)
This is so beautiful!! What monumental trust on her part, and what love on Joshua's (and Mom's & Dad's) part . . . And I'm so glad you got to help out at an Orphan Sunday event -- it's good for moms to stay connected to other adults about their passions (even while you're living it out with your little people).
ReplyDeleteNancy
Wonderful!!
ReplyDeleteYeah for such wonderful progress!!! I haven't been able to comment lately because I've been using my iPad and can't figure out how to log into my account and it just automatically does on my laptop. Anyway...I'm so happy for how Lauren is doing and how well your adjustment is going! Keep following your momma heart because we know what's best for our little babes!!!
ReplyDeleteSo good to hear. :) Happy stuff. :) Yay! God is cool.
ReplyDeleteOh, how wonderful. I am so glad Joshua is really enjoying Lauren Anjali....what a blessing. That must make your mom's heart SO happy. Rejoicing with you!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo happy to see these major milestones of attachment and security being reached! It's encouraging to hear how the whole family is adjusting and finding your new normal!!
ReplyDeleteI think we may still be in a bit of the honeymoon stage - who knows :) Thanks though everyone for the encouragement. Now the next big challenge - getting her to sleep in her room, in her bed, getting Joshua back to his room....and getting my husband back to his bed beside me!! :) I think we'll work on that after our trip to Rockford for Christmas -- we'll have a good stretch through the winter where we won't have any overnight stays - so can get into a good routine.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds awesome! It also soothes my worries about attachment issues a bit.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Rockford, do you mean Rockford, IL? If so e-mail me. I don't know how long you plan to be there, but maybe we could meet. I would love that!
Yep, Rockford, Illinois over Christmas.
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