Friday, October 7, 2011

Embracing imperfection, being real, being who we were meant to be

Brad and I watched the movie Legendary tonight, while Joshua got to spend the evening with his Nana. It was a really good movie about wrestling of all things. But more importantly it was a movie about forgiveness, family, accepting defeat, and being yourself. It got me thinking, in our society so many people strive for perfection .... and funny thing is sometimes people have said to me, "you're a perfectionist"..... that makes me laugh. If you could only see my house and piles of laundry! My office at work is a mess ... etc. I'm hardly a perfectionist. One thing I have learned over time though is that a career is not more important than family. A sport is not more important than family (or piano lessons, swimming lessons)...etc. Our kids like activities, but it's really the parent's responsibility to determine when it's too much....and I'd say most kids are overbooked, and under-nurtured.

I'm not sure how to teach imperfection or failure... you see, sometimes there is a fire in our belly that believes if you try hard enough you will succeed, it you work hard enough things will always be ok. I confess, I have that fire at times. I have to remember that God is the driver and I'm the passenger...things usually work better in my life when that's the case. But what about teaching our kids????

This week at soccer practice, Joshua had a great time with his coach and friends...but after practice, a friend from his school was over kicking in balls into the net.... practice was well over. I want to foster the relationship with this kid and Joshua, so I go over and "pretend" to be Beckham (sp?) and take a shot for myself. That's all it took and before you know it I'm playing soccer with two 5 year olds. They loved it when I was the goalie because I cheered them on with "ok, kiddos....let's see whatcha got"..... Joshua kicked many times...rarely made a goal (because I could stop his)... but his friend (who is the same age)...had that real natural athletic look and mannerisms...and he could KICK.... zoomed right past me several times. They giggled and had a great time "buzzing" mommy. Until finally I had to count them down to a few more tries, because we needed to get home. Phillip, Joshua's friend and his dad ...also needed to leave...so they went off walking together....and Joshua came up to me and started crying. I was shocked, "what is it J-man" and he replied, "I didn't get any goals"... wow, in my playing with both boys it didn't even occur to me that none of his kicks made it to the goal...and most of his friend's kicks did. Wow, what do you say to a 5 year old that is crying. So I played some more and allowed his ball to make it past me....I know, I know.. I shouldn't have "let" him get goals, but it broke my heart. He is terribly competitive, he always has been... I need help in teaching him to fail. He's terribly smart...but just not all that athletic (which is fine by me).... but his heart wants to be like his friends. If anyone has any tips...would love to hear them. He's learning a lot about God and Jesus ... but it's hard when these life situations happen. In the games previously, he did get goals (but that was before we moved up to this age bracket and now we have a goalie)... so we've been praising him for his defense, which he is really good at...and he can run like crazy! How to you teach a child less of self and more for others, sacrifice your goal to be that good defender or passer of the ball .... my heart's cry for him is that he doesn't get into always wanting something different than how God designed him. He loves soccer, and this league is a church league that is not competitive at all, which is good...but what happens as he gets older and realizes, he just might not be talented enough for it? Ideas? Ideas..??

1 comment:

  1. I'm e-mailing you my comment. :)

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