Sunday, June 24, 2012

Praying for News on Passport

Hi all - just a quick note / prayer request.  Our agency rep has been out of the office, but returns back tomorrow.  Please pray we hear news about Lauren's passport this week.  For a whole host of logistical reasons, we really wanted to travel in July to pick her up..... plus, we're just kindof crazy excited to have her home!!  I REALLY want Joshua to have a long bonding summer with her - BTW I attended an adoption learning partner webinar that talked about integrating adopted children with existing children in the home... covering a variety of sibling issues.... it was AWESOME!  If you ever get a chance to do one of these webinars they are fabulous!  (and cheap too) - like $15 for one hour of training.... with such valuable ideas! 

One webinar take away was this...... adopted children should bond with parents first and then siblings.... this was very interesting to me.  Their advice was that ONLY parents do primary care giving - such as feeding, bathing, diaper changes..... siblings most important job is --- teach the new child "how to play".... Joshua is VERY excited to have this as his number one job!  He also understands that in the beginning, we are Lauren's care givers .... and that over time he can help in these roles after we feel well bonded with her.  For now, he can be the runner for a diaper or pullup.... the runner for a bottle or juice.  He's happy with that role :)

Another take away .... have a family calendar in which ALL children and family events are recorded, so in the busy times of therapy, bonding, doctor's appointments, etc. activities with the new child -- the existing child isn't wondering.... "how am I going to get to soccer this week" or "I wonder if I will get my game night - or trip to the pool as promised.... since she's home now"..... etc.  We love this idea because it seems to give a great balance to the family and each person's needs.  Joshua knows that Lauren will be our priority for a long while, but knowing and then experiencing it might be two different things, given he's been the one "large and in-charge" for so long.  Our goal is family unity .... and I think we've prepared him for the initial challenges and days ahead.  {I pray more than anything that Lauren likes Joshua right away --- he's wanting that to be the case so badly}. 

And a final take away that immediately comes to mind is to have "family meetings" -- even before you bring your new child home.  Family meetings get the existing children in the habit of voicing their concerns, feelings, expectations, etc.  So when the new child comes into the home.... these meetings continue and everyone has a say into how things are going or what we are feeling.  (of course little Lauren probably won't understand most of them in the beginning)....but I do think it will continue to give Joshua "a voice" as Dr. Purvis says..... and I think giving children their voice is the greatest gift we can give them. Lauren will catch on over time -- and one day I'm certain she will bring her concerns to the family meeting :)

Meanwhile.... keep praying for news so we can get this journey on the road.... we are ready and excited beyond words!  


  1. Yes!! Praying that you find out this week about her passport! I'm so excited for you!!

  2. Praying for you to get news!!!!!!! And I love the stuff you took away from this Webinar. So good. Thank you so much for sharing!

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  4. Great ideas from the webinar :) praying that you hear news about Lauren's passport!!

  5. Good ideas! I've done some of their webinars before too, but we were gone for this one -- so I'm really glad you posted about it. Hoping and praying for passport news . . .

  6. I have been reading your blog for a few months now and finally decided to post! I am praying for some great news on the India front. I know the home stretch is probably the hardest. I am just beginning the journey to India.