Monday, October 22, 2012

You must tread your own path

So I write this post merely from our perspective and it is NOT to suggest that any other family is doing things the "wrong" way.... or that we have it all figured out.... because we clearly don't.  But one thing I'm learning about parenting Lauren Anjali - is that we can certainly look to the adoption books and training for guidance...but at some point, we have to allow the Holy Spirit, our gut instict, and our own thoughts to help us know what is best for her.  I write this post only because we are a family of rule followers - if the BOOK says you "stay home with your child for 6 months"...well, we are going to do what we can to make that happen.  If the BOOK says don't allow people over to your house for 2 months -- well, we planned on doing that :)  Keep in mind, sometimes the book (although based on research and perhaps a lot of wisdom) doesn't fit every child.  I have had considerable guilt over the need and desire to return to work - and some of my closest friends have said, "you just might be a better mom if you are able to return to work on a part-time basis"....... So after knowing Lauren Anjali 49 days, here is what we have found.....

Lauren Anjali is a child that LOVES to be around people.  She loves to go, go, go .... explore, see sights, be outside, she loves to learn.  In India we picked up on this a bit because when we would play in the hotel room, at times she'd point to the door.  She loved exploring the elevator, going to the mall... and even seemed to be ok with taxi rides through the busy streets. 

So now that we are home, we noticed early on when some dear friends of ours came over with their girls, she LOVED playing with them.  When Joshua played outside with friends -- Lauren Anjali would "hang out" with the boys in the back yard, chasing them... trying to play along with the soccer game, or sometimes just playing on the playset and watching them.  At church, she didn't want to stay in the sanctuary, but instead wanted to go where children were -- we tried the infant/nursery because we THOUGHT she was too young and it was too early to leave her downstairs with the 3 year old children.  But because Joshua goes downstairs to HIS classroom, she wanted to go downstairs too -- and went right into her 3 year old class.... enjoys the toys, playdough, etc.  This girl NEEDS people...little people :).... which is great, because we have agonized over how we would transition her to preschool / daycare -- and all my friends have said, just pray about the timing, it will all work out. 

So today, we had physical therapy this morning and then I dropped her off for a very short FIRST day at preschool.  She really seemed to LOVE it.  She did cry for a brief moment when I left (I went next door to the business I could hear her).... they comforted her and she quickly quit crying!  When I picked her up two hours later they said that she did great....and was getting ready to take her shoes off like all the other kids for nap time.  After recess time she did cry/whine/fuss just a bit when they came in for circle time before lunch....but get this .... she had a great lunch and even asked for a napkin to help clean off some food that one of HER CLASSMATES got on HIS shirt..... they all got a kick out of that.  Yep, that's our girl the great helper, the loving friend.   

Now we will watch her closely and make sure she doesn't emotionally regress in any way.  But I wanted to share this with all you PAPs out there - because at some point books and opinions of other families, etc.  really can be taken and filed away for consideration for sure .... we have totally relied on the advice of many of you....but at the end of the day... being intune with your child, you will know exactly what he or she needs.....and that is when you may find yourself treading your own path. We also place a huge emphasis on prayer, and this little one was totally covered in prayer for her first day of "skaala" (school).  So thankful for that!

p.s. speaking of prayer - you should see her at the dinner table -- we hold hands around the table and pray -- she loves this and at the end she sayes, "ah-men" with her sweet little accent!  Sometimes she encourages several prayers throughout dinner by motioning for us to hold her hand again, and again....and she even bows her head :) 

p.s. - hope to post pictures soon -- lost camera charger so need to order a new one ;) 


  1. I LOVE this post!!! It is so very true!!! There are hundreds of adoption books, a lot that are great, but in the end it comes down to what is right for your child and for you family!! Way to follow your heart my friend!!! I think you are doing an amazing job and Lauren has come SO far in the past couple of months!! God is truly wonderful!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

    1. I meant your I need to proofread what I write before publishing I think!!!! : )

  2. You are such a wonderful mama! Follow your heart and the Holy Spirit. He will never steer you in the wrong direction.

  3. What a lovely post, Renae! I'm such a "book follower" and I know it does not always work... Thanks for sharing. Great to hear about her progress and picture it in my head. Hope you get the battery charger soon.

  4. I almost felt paralyzed after coming home with Anya Rashi because of reading so many adoption books! I was afraid of damaging her somehow . . . and it's so true that you have to trust your maternal instincts sometimes. So hard, but so true!