Sunday, August 5, 2012
So, I've been reading some sections of Deborah Gray's book on attachment - called Attaching in Adoption. It's a fabulous book. This was a required read for our service plan, so Brad and I both read the entire book previously, but I've just felt the need to read sections again. In reading the book, it occurred to me... there is no way I can remember all these "milestones" or signs of attachment (or refusal to attach) "in the moment" when Lauren comes home, so I built a matrix. Basically, I think it's an easy tool to use to measure how things are going - the concepts come clearly from the book - I've just put them on paper in one centralized place and put them under what I understand are phases I, II, and III. There are other phases beyond this, but I think these are a great measure for the early days and if attachment is occurring ....or not. I then made up a way to sort the list, given its length based on general topics or categories that I think these milestones fall within. If anyone wants a copy of the matrix email me - I'd be happy to send it out - it's in excel.
p.s. - I think this is part of my need to "nest" right now :) AGAIN. Last night Joshua and I spent several hours in Lauren's room, folding and organizing clothes, and unpackaging food containers and kitchen stuff for Lauren that were gifts to us from friends. Joshua went through her jewelry box - of which is currently the "holder" of hair clips - as she doesn't have alot of jewelry :) He lines them up by matching color and design. we talk and play music in her room and love going through her stuff. He is just as excited to meet her as we are. Later today, we're going to do a video for her with a message from Joshua to her. We plan to take that to her - and if the time is right, we'll show the video to her while in India. "Are we there yet?"